Family (Dys)Functions

Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanukkah!

Last night, Christmas Eve my folks had their annual Christmas Eve party. Everyone from our family is invited and then some. We had some cousins show up this year we haven't seen in quite some time!

My mother told me to tell any of my friends that i invited that it was a pot luck affair,a nd to please bring a dish. The budget was tight this year, they said, so they weren't setting out the smorgasbord they usually do.

They lied. I wish someone had taken a picture of the table. I made macaroni and cheese, helped my 14 yr old sister Judi cook a turkey, made a pasta salad with artichokes (and got chewed out by both my brother RB and my mother because I changed the recipe and added green olives), and stood by while Mom made gravy, mashed potatoes, salad, stuffing, 6 different kinds of cookies and green bean casserole.

Then people of course brought stuff, so there was sausage and peppers, another green bean casserole, three kinds of bread, chili, berry dessert, veggie platter, deviled eggs, stuffed mushrooms, ham, mashed sweet potatoes, and a bunch of other stuff I didn't and couldn't try.

both my folks were nervous wrecks thinking they wouldn't be done by 5 pm the advertised time to arrive. At 5:15 my Dad was standing looking at the table with chafing dishes and sterno cans aflame grumbling "Where the hell are they all? We said 5! The food's gonna dry out if they don't show up soon!" and threatening to get on the phone to tell them to hurry up. All 75 of them.

Around 6 pm, people started filing in and the house was packed by 7. My Dad's family came, four generations deep. Cousins I hadn't seen in a decade decided to show, which was nice, and weird because I don't remember there names half the time.

My close and much missed friends showed up for a while. Corinne, my oldest friend and our friend Chris; SueB and her awesome children who are growing like weeds Elliot and Audrey; Kimmie, Stacy Jorgenface and Greg all came for a bit, ate, drank and made merriment. It was nice. I wish I could see them more often. its so hard especially now when I feel like I have no friends in Saint Louis yet.

No one cried which was good, Judi didn't annoy me too much, and all the kids were well behaved. There were a few moments when I felt spun around in circles trying to do things for everyone at once: get this one a drink, take a photo of these two, pick that thing up before someone breaks their neck, get out of the way of the hot pan coming through!

So I survived, and didn't get to bed until midnight which is late for me in general, but especially because I didn't sleep well in my parents spare room at all. I was on a sleeping bag on a mattress and those two fabrics together just slid around and I kept faling out of bed. Last night no better, as I was stiff, sore and kept waiting for my cats to come to bed. Its hard to sleep alone.

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Christmas Morning was actually tolerable! I was amazed Judi stayed in bed til 8 am. I could have slept more, but she got pushy so i got up and made the coffee.

We fought over opening presents, but not how you think. We like to savor our gift opening and be the last one to open a present so we made Judi go first. Then Amy RB and I rotated opening gifts with Dad, always opening the obvious DVDs and boxes of clothes first.

There were the usual things for Dad: new shirts, some movies, and tools. Amy got some silly nick knacks and an iPod Mini. Mom got a food processor and an iPod shuffle. RB got another HESS truck to add to his life-long collection along with movies and trinkets.

Now, my presents were particularly amazing this year. Christmas at my family's house is always about wuantity not quality. For YEARS my parents have chosen to pile under the tree all the $2.00 plastic crap they can find at the wholesale stores. its terrible. It's stuff and things I have no use for, from stores I don't want to support. I try and try and beg and explain explicitly that I do not want anything:

• from Wal*Mart, Sams Club, Target, K-Mart, etc etc etc. There is NOTHING in those stores i need.

• things that are already knitted. i enjoy DOING the knitting and NOT receiving acrylic granny-square afghan purses you found at one of the stores above.

• things that won't fit in my suitcase (a set of cast iron pans, a tv, etc.). I don't trust the mail to get it to my house in one piece.

•things you got me last year that I may or may not have liked or used, like the three years in a row when my father gave me Scooby-Doo themed toys and accessories for the home EXCLUSIVELY. I told him over nad over I could care less about Scooby-Doo, but that ONE thing he gave me four years ago was neat. That ONE thing. Not every thing uder the sun with that dumb dog's face on it.

So anyway, this year they actually listened! my mom let someone else guide her decisions, adn bought me almost ALL things she found at yard sales! A set of vintage chop sticks, an old kiddie 45 record player, two vintage tea towels. All nice things! Excellent, small, and useful things I can appreciate. i'm so glad. Judi picked out a great Reader' Digest Anthology of Needle work. I LOVE it. LOVE.

I don't know why it took so many years for them to "get it". But this time, I think they were actually paying attention!

more later...