Archive Retreival 3 - 11 May 05 Wednesday

Original Post Date: 11 May 05 Wednesday

Original Post Title: Dream #2

I dreampt that I was bitten by this little bat, like the common bat, not a vampire bat. And it was really tiny. About three inches long.

I pulled if off my neck where it bit me like 4 times, and was holding it between two fingers ant the back of its head, like you'd grab a cat. Its little skull was so tiny, and for a bat, it was very beautiful. I remember feeling bad that I had pulled him so hard. The skin on his neck and head were pulled tight from me pinching it. His head was as small as my thumbnail.

Then these four bumps showed up on my neck. They were the size of a marble, and had a little blue dot in to top of each. They were like a giant pimple, and the blueness was something under the skin. I asked someone to tell me what they hell they were, and why this bat bit me, and the person was like " oh they are nipples", like bats bite at neck nipples everyday.

So now I have for blue nipples on my neck, and they aren't like people nipples, they are like baby bottle nipples, blue plastic. I squeeze one of them and it like squeezed out of my neck with this root or stem attached to it an inch or so long. I could get them all off. They were like medicine droppers. But blue. wtf? I don't nurse bats from my neck and the bat was all pissed off and i had to hold it and keep it from biting me again. Don't know how the dream ended.

What the hell does that kind of dream mean? I will have bat like vampiric children or something? Maybe it has nothing to do with children, just feeling in general like life is being sucked out of me maybe.

Then I was dreaming that my mom published a book and in it were all these secret things I never told her. I was like, why do u read all my secrets, and she said its my house u live in so I must know everything about you. I flipped out and tried to run away and she was hitting me, and I was screamed at her "I am leaving!!!" and asking her "Why do you do these things? Why do you cause me so much pain and distress?" As I was saying it to her i was thinking why haven't I moved before? I should have been out of here so long ago. It was like I am still mentally trapped there with my mother always having to keep absolute power over me.

I dream about my mom so much and they are always like that. She's chasing me and I can't run, or she's trying to kill me, or kill one of my siblings. Its like she's always in my head and I can't make her go away. Its so strange, I haven't lived there in so long, yet she still won't let go of me. Or maybe I am still struggling to keep her off of me.